Milly

Today Milly came.

Milly is a German Shepherd and Milly is Fifteen Weeks Old.

Person says Milly came from a Puppy Farm. Person gets our Raw Chicken Wings from a Turkey Farm.

Milly was kept in a Big Cage with other dogs and puppies.

Milly is Very SCARED of Persons.

But Milly isn't Scared of Me. Milly isn't Scared of Marmite. Milly isn't even Scared of Monty the Mont who told her off for jumping on him.

We have all been Chasing around our field in the Rain. SIXTEEN DIRTY FEET Person says.

Person is 'DOING NOTHING' with Milly because she says this will make Milly More Brave with Persons.

But I fear Milly might soon become a bit TOO Brave.

Milly has been here for just half a day and then ....... she Jumped Up ....at Person!

Person gave Milly 'The Turid Rugaas Hand Gesture' without looking at her. (Turid Rugaas is a Very Famous Dog Lady Person who teaches Handling Skills).

DOING NOTHING doesn't sound like Handling Skills to me. DOING NOTHING sounds more like NOT Handling Skills.

Anyway, Milly is now asleep again for a very little while.

Later I shall teach her about HOLES.

Bones and Raw Food Diet

I have a Sore Nose.

I made my nose SORE because of a BONE. A Big Raw Meaty Bone. I didn't know what to do with it so I Buried it by Digging a HOLE and pushing it and covering it up with my Nose. Then I Dug it up. Then I Buried it again somewhere else. Then I Dug it up again. Then I Buried somewhere else. Then I Dug it up again.

Then Person took my Big Raw Meaty Bone away.

The other morning I thought I was going to get my FOOD. My nice Crunchy Dried Food. But Person gave me two Raw Chicken Wings instead.

Is this FOOD? Do I EAT them? HOW?

Marmite was already SCRUNCHING her Raw Chicken Wings because Marmite will Eat Anything. Monty the Mont then SCRUNCHED on his Chicken Wings.

Person cut mine Two Raw Chicken Wings into little bits. I Sniffed them.

THIS IS NOT FOOD.

Then, for tea Person gave me SLUDGE.

I Love SLUDGE. It is TASTY. Sludge is all minced up. It has Raw cabbage and cauliflower and carrots, and sometimes it has Raw Fish, and it always has Raw Meat, it sometimes has Raw Liver and it sometimes has Raw Cows Heart, and sometimes it has Fruit.

This is what my SLUDGE looks like.

And here is Marmite eating SLUDGE.

I can now Scrunch my Chicken Wings. I have Worked It Out!

Anyway, Chickens don't need their Wings because Chickens Don't need to Fly. Chickens RUN. They have to RUN in order to cross roads so they can get to the Other Side.

Person also gave us BIG RAW MEATY BONES to chew.

Marmite took her Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Field. Monty the Mont took his Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Garden.

I first took my Big Raw Meaty Bone into the Kennel to my Bed.

Person now only gives us SMALL Raw Meaty Bones, because my Big Raw Meaty Bone made my Nose BLEED.

Then, when there are only three little bits of Meaty Bone left, we all lie down together in the field and Swap Bones.

Hail and Snow

Here is my Funny Face. Person says she can see Right Up My Nose.

There was HAIL today. Hard cold white balls fell out of the sky. They HURT.

Person says the Hailstones were the size of Sugar Lumps. (I don't know what Sugar Lumps are, but she says that Horses would).

A few days ago there was SNOW. Snow is fun. Snow doesn't Hurt my Head like Hail Hurts my Head. Monty the Mont and Marmite didn't want to Play.

My Dog Listener Person went to see a Yellow Labrador called Becky. Becky lives with Misty who is a dog called a Bichon Frise.

Becky is SCARED of Persons who come to her House. I'm not Scared of any Persons who come to my House.

Becky looks just like my dad did, though Becky is a Bitch. (I'm not allowed to call a She-Person a Bitch).

Anyway, I WAS just a little bit SCARED when Sugar Lumps were dropping out of the Sky onto my Head.

That Pip

Person calls Monty the Mont Monty.

Person calls Marmite Marmite.

Person calls me That Pip.

What is That Pip up to. Where is That Pip. What has That Pip done now.

I have a New Bed. Monty the Mont has a New Bed and Marmite has a New Bed.

My bed is never the Bed I am actually lying on. It is either the Bed Monty the Mont is lying on, or it is the Bed Marmite is lying on.

My Person went to see Maisie yesterday. Maisie is a Chocolate Labrador and she is Twelve Weeks Old. But Maisie isn't Too Fat like Marmite.

Maisie has found out she is just big enough to jump up on the sofa.

I think Maisie's Persons will soon be calling her That Maisie.

Anyway, just now I have Two New Beds all to myself.

I Love You

Persons did something called Valentine's Day last week.

My Person did the I Love You STRETCH to me.

She got onto her knees. Then she STRETCHED her hands out towards me on the floor.

So I did one of my special STREEEEETCHES back to her, and LICKED her on the Nose.

Then Person said Ouch, I'm stuck.

Some of Person's Friends tried it with their dogs.

And nearly all Person's Friends dogs STREEETCHED right back.

One of Person's Friends dogs just looked at his Person and walked away.

Another of Person's Friends dogs Humped his Person's head.

Anyway, I love my Person better now she is no longer picking up the Small Sharp Scissors when she thinks I am asleep.

Person has finally removed all the Black Stitches. The nurse said the Black Stitches would go all by themselves, but they didn't.

My New Wound is now a New Pink SCAR.

My New Wound

I have a NEW Wound.

Nobody heard me SCREAM this time.

Monty the Mont and Marmite Cornered me behind the Bonfire and I ran into something SHARP and STICKING OUT. I kept running but my Skin stayed still.

I have SEVEN Stitches.

Person thinks that I can't CHEW my New Wound and Person thinks I can't SCRATCH my New Wound. This is because Person has bought me a Corderoy COAT.

I heard someone say Big Girls Blouse.

I Love my Corderoy Coat and I wear it all the time.

Person thinks I can't get my Nose under my Corderoy Coat to Lick my New Wound.

While I waited for the Vet to Take me Away, I talked to a Chocolate Labrador just like Marmite. I lay on my back with my legs in the air and she Kissed me.

Chocolate Labrador's Persons looked at my New Wound and said Oh Dear.

The Vet looked at my New Wound and the Vet said Oh Dear.

It was a Boring Day. I was in a Cage all morning.

When Person came to fetch me I felt ODD. I said Hello to a Spaniel, then I jumped into the car (OUCH) and went to sleep.

Anyway, I am getting my Corderoy Coat as dirty as I can now. When Person takes my Corderoy Coat to wash it, I will be able to show EVERYONE my New Wound.

Merry Christmas

Persons have this thing called Christmas. It's something to do with a Baby Person who was born Long Long Ago.

Baby Person Eddie came here last week. Baby Person Eddie was born 5 Months Ago. I was born 30 Months Ago.

Baby Person Eddie does CRYING when he wants something. Person gives him what he wants.

If I do Crying or if Monty the Mont does Crying or if Marmite does Crying, Person doesn't give US what we want. She goes away and does something else.

I love Baby Eddie Person. He Smells Interesting.

I wonder whether the Baby Person born Long Long Ago Smelt Interesting too?

Some dogs my Dog Listener Person goes to see have BIRDS living Inside their Home.

A Black Dog called Charlie has a Crow living with him.

Charlie's Crow flies around the House. Charlie's Crow can TALK Person-Talk.

Another Dog who lives with a Bird is Shelly. Shelly is a White German Shepherd. Shelly also lives with Chihuahua called Rosie. Shelly and Rosie have a Cockateel.





















My Dog Listener Person went to see a Boxer Dog called Fred. Person went to see Fred because he did TOO MUCH BARKING.

Fred has a Parrot living with him. Parrot was born Long Long Ago because she is a Very Old Bird.

Parrot says BED FRED and Fred goes to his bed. Parrot says WOOF WOOF and Fred BARKS and then Parrot shouts SHUT UP FRED.

Parrot makes Car-Stopping noises and Fred BARKS then Parrot shouts SHUT UP FRED.

Parrot can make Doorbell noise. Fred runs to the door and BARKS and Parrot goes WOOF WOOF SHUT UP FRED.

My Person says she's not a Parrot Listener. I think I heard Person say Sellotape and Beak.

Anyway, I don't know if I can do Christmas. But I can do MERRY.

It's hard to do MERRY quietly.

So have a MERRY Christmas.