Doing Other Things

Person is taking her Dog Listening Very Seriously.

She always Eats something before putting our Bowls down because she thinks she's an Alpha Wolf now. She calls this Gesture Eating.

Alpha Wolf? I wasn't fooled. I told her I wasn't fooled by walking away from my Bowl without eating anything and Doing Other Things. Person then would just take my Bowl away.

Well, Person has now Called My Bluff.

When we are all excited because we think it should be Breakfast Time or Tea Time Person just Does Other Things. She carries on Doing Other Things until we have settled down.

Then some time later when she feels like it Person feeds us. Perhaps she is an Alpha Wolf after all.

And I always Eat my food now. Quickly.

Person is also taking us for Road Walks each day. She takes me all by myself. She takes Marmite by herself and then she takes Monty the Mont all by himself.

Monty the Mont usually goes last because each time Person picks up his lead he starts to Prance and Jump about. So Person just puts the lead back and Does Other Things. Sometimes she has to Do Other Things three or four times before Monty the Mont stops Prancing and goes out Quietly.

Each time I Pull and try to Get Ahead Person just STOPS. Then she Starts Again and Changes Direction. We have now got as far as the house with white gate posts before Person turns around and comes home again. It takes Monty the Mont a long time to get to the house with white gate posts because Person keeps having to Stop and Change Direction.

Monty the Mont usually spoils it all by Lunging at the Telegraph Pole on the corner for a Sniff and to Mark the Spot.

So, another of Person's New Year Resolutions is to have all three of us Walking down the road with her, with Loose Leads and no Pulling or Lunging at Telegraph Poles.

Anyway, it's only Day Three of the New Year and we know what happened to Person's No Sofa Resolution. We know what happened to Person's Eat Only Fruit During the Day and then Sensible Evening Meal Resolution. Will her All Three Dogs Walking Down the Road Together Nicely Resolution actually happen, do you think?

And here are Marmite and Monty the Mont trying to Kill me again.

Long Dog

I'm a Lurcher so I'm a SIGHT Hound. I'm a very good HEARING Hound too. I have just found out that I'm also called a LONG DOG. I am very Looong when I Stretch. I'm also a SKINNY DOG.

Perhaps I'm Skinny because my Person is STARVING me. She picks up my Food Bowl when I walk away from it before I've eaten my Food. I walk away from my Bowl and see if I can get back to it just in time before Person picks it up and takes it away.

I know Person's Games! They all started when she went on that Course on Understanding Dogs.

Person now always Eats Food First herself before putting our Bowls down because she's pretending to be the Alpha Wolf and because Alpha Wolves always Eat Food First. They don't eat Biscuits, though. Alpha Wolves eat Raw Elk Flesh.

But she can't MAKE me Watch her Eating Food First, can she! She Ignores me so I will Ignore her too. Perhaps I might watch Person if she ate Raw Elk Flesh first and not just a Biscuit.

Afterwards I try to tell Person I'm so SKINNY I will STARVE if she doesn't give me my food back, but she doesn't LISTEN to me. And she's supposed to be a Dog Listener now.

Anyway, today Person put a little Milk on my Breakfast and I love Milk. Milk makes Marmite sick. If Person puts Milk on my Breakfast I might just pretend to Play her Games. If she gave me Raw Elk Flesh I would certainly Play her Games.

Elk

Alpha Wolves always Eat FIRST while all the other Wolves WAIT.

Person is still pretending to be an Alpha Wolf. She Eats a Biscuit before she puts our Bowls down. It's called Gesture Eating.

Person doesn't look at us while she Eats her Biscuit. But we Look at her. We Watch as she takes each SLOW Bite from her Biscuit. She IGNORES us (or she Pretends to). Marmite DROOLS.

This afternoon I thought "I'm not going to play Person's Game this time" so I IGNORED her.

I Sniffed about while Person did Gesture Eating with her Biscuit. I IGNORED her. I Sniffed to see if she had dropped any Bits of Dry Dog Food under the table.

Anyway, Real Wolves don't eat Bits of Dry Dog Food. Certainly not a BISCUIT! Real Alpha Wolves HUNT and KILL animals like Elks and they Eat the Warm and Bloody Flesh. AFTER the Real Alpha Wolves are FULL UP and Fat with Warm and Bloody Elk flesh they let the other Wolves Eat.

At Tea time today when Person put my Bowl down I pretended I was still looking for dropped Dry Dog Food under the table.

Monty the Mont finished all his Tea. Marmite finished her Tea. I did NOT Eat any of my Tea.

So, Person picked up Monty the Mont's Empty Bowl, Marmite's Empty bowl and my FULL Bowl and she took them away. I would have Eaten Elk with Warm and Bloody Flesh.

Last time I played this Game Person gave me my Tea a bit later. By myself. She made a fuss of me. I liked that.

Not this time. She is going to make me WAIT until Breakfast tomorrow.

No More Sofa

These Pictures show you WHAT'S HAPPENED.

...................................................................

She Person is going away for Three Whole Days next week. She is going to finish her Dog Listening Course at Jan Fennell's Farmhouse. Jan Fennell has Eleven Spaniels.

I think Person has already learnt a bit too much about UNDERSTANDING DOGS.

He-Person will look after us while she is Away.

Will He-Person be Alpha Wolf while Person is Away? Will he do Gesture Eating before putting our Bowls down? Will he pick up our Bowls as soon as we have finished? Will he IGNORE us when he comes in? Will he Keep Control of the Door to OUTSIDE?

While He-Person is busy Watching Sport on TV VERY LOUD will I be able to Creep back onto the Sofa again? Will Marmite? Will Monty the Mont who is really He-Person's Favourite?

No Breakfast

This morning I didn't have any Breakfast.

We watched Person do her 'Gesture Eating' - she had a cheesy smelling biscuit this morning, and then she put my Bowl down. But I Walked Away from it. I thought - I'm not going to play this Game today. Person then put down Monty the Mont's Bowl and he started Eating immediately. Then she put down Marmite's Bowl and she started Eating immediately too.

So Person just picked up my Bowl and took it away!

OH.

Hannawannah who is Person's Last-Born is here this weekend. She says she notices a Big Difference in me, and in Monty the Mont and in Marmite. I haven't seen Hannawannah for a long time and when she came in she IGNORED me! I nearly jumped up and Person put me straight OUTSIDE. Then Monty the Mont pranced and Person put him OUTSIDE too. Soon she let us in again and we kept our Feet on the Ground.

Some Persons came to Eat, Drink and Talk yesterday. Neighbours-From-Heaven Sue-Person and Artist came, and Brian-Person and Christine-Person as well. Brian and Christine have Toby and Bella and they go to Training Classes. Toby and Bella are Jack Russells and they haven't had their tails Cut Off. (I broke a wine glass with my Tail yesterday. It was on the Low Table). When Brian and Christine came in they tried to ignore us. We all tried to jump up so Person put us straight OUTSIDE.

We stayed OUTSIDE for a long time. We went in our Big Kennel. We were Very Good Dogs.

He-Person hasn't called me THAT BLOODY PIP for Five Days now! He did say FLAMING PIP though when I broke the wine glass which was on the Low Table yesterday.

Anyway, perhaps Person will give me Breakfast back soon.

Once I was so little I could get into the Bird Bath.