The Hunt

Person says she is now going to make Walking the Dogs a Pleasure.

I'm not quite sure what Person means. As soon as I think I'm going out for a Walk I get very excited. I find it a Pleasure already.

She's still practising all this Understanding Dogs stuff on us.

So I went for two Little Walks yesterday. Marmite went for two Little Walks yesterday. Monty the Mont nearly didn't get even one Little Walk yesterday. As soon as Person picked up his lead he started to Prance About. So she just put it down again and took Me or Marmite instead.

They were very STRANGE Walks. It took a Very Long Time to go a Very Short Distance. Person kept saying something about THE HUNT and because she's pretending to be an Alpha Wolf she LEADS THE HUNT.

Just as I was thinking 'Ah I know where we are going' Person stopped and turned around and Walked in a different direction.

It took a Long Time to get as far as the corner at the bottom of the road. Each time I felt the collar tighten around my neck Person just Stopped! She didn't speak. She didn't jerk the lead. She just STOPPED.

Then she Started again and Changed Direction again.

We're not going to get anywhere or HUNT anything, let alone Elk, if we keep turning around.

Monty the Mont didn't even get out of the drive on his First Walk. Person just kept going in different directions until Monty the Mont was walking next to her with a loose lead.

Anyway, we never PULL to Get in Front on the way back Home. Person says it's because we know the HUNT is over.

HUNT? What HUNT?

















PS. If we Jump Up at the Window Person won't let us IN now.

Long Dog

I'm a Lurcher so I'm a SIGHT Hound. I'm a very good HEARING Hound too. I have just found out that I'm also called a LONG DOG. I am very Looong when I Stretch. I'm also a SKINNY DOG.

Perhaps I'm Skinny because my Person is STARVING me. She picks up my Food Bowl when I walk away from it before I've eaten my Food. I walk away from my Bowl and see if I can get back to it just in time before Person picks it up and takes it away.

I know Person's Games! They all started when she went on that Course on Understanding Dogs.

Person now always Eats Food First herself before putting our Bowls down because she's pretending to be the Alpha Wolf and because Alpha Wolves always Eat Food First. They don't eat Biscuits, though. Alpha Wolves eat Raw Elk Flesh.

But she can't MAKE me Watch her Eating Food First, can she! She Ignores me so I will Ignore her too. Perhaps I might watch Person if she ate Raw Elk Flesh first and not just a Biscuit.

Afterwards I try to tell Person I'm so SKINNY I will STARVE if she doesn't give me my food back, but she doesn't LISTEN to me. And she's supposed to be a Dog Listener now.

Anyway, today Person put a little Milk on my Breakfast and I love Milk. Milk makes Marmite sick. If Person puts Milk on my Breakfast I might just pretend to Play her Games. If she gave me Raw Elk Flesh I would certainly Play her Games.

Still Sick

I didn't do Person Training yesterday. Monty the Mont did Training and so did Marmite, but I had to go back to the car.

I was in the Top Class for the first time. This isn't because I am better than Marmite, it's because He-Person who is Marmite's Handler at Person Training can't do the Top Class. He has to do something called Going to Work.

In the Top Class I said Hello to some of the Dogs because I hadn't met them before. Then I started to walk to Heel. Then Linsey-Trainer-Person said 'Tell your Dog to SIT. I heard her so I SAT (my-Person-Handler then said SIT but I was already Sitting). Then she said 'Forward' and I walked to Heel again. Then I stopped. Then I was Sick. On the Floor. It was some Grass that I had been eating. So Person took me back to the car.

She said it wasn't a very good start in the Top Class.

Person is going away this weekend on the Canine Communication course to UNDERSTAND DOGS. I don't want her to GO AWAY. I don't really want her to UNDERSTAND DOGS.

So perhaps if I keep eating Grass and if I don't eat my food and if Grass makes me Sick then Person will Stay at Home.

Click here if you would like to see my 'Pleeeeeeease Let Me OUT' video again.


Here is a picture of our Field. You can see the steps leading up to our garden. You can see the Old Station House behind and the window is where Artist and Sue-Person, our Neighbours From Heaven live. On the left is where Guy-Person who didn't get burnt on Bonfire Night lives.

You can just see where I live with Monty the Mont and Marmite, behind the wall.

Understanding Dogs

Here I am at the end of another Hard Day.

I fear I shan't be allowed On the Sofa for much longer. This is because of Person's Canine Communication Course next weekend and Jan Fennell will teach her to UNDERSTAND DOGS.

I know she will learn that Dogs are really WOLVES and that Dogs are not Persons. Persons go on Sofas. Wolves stay on the Floor or in their Beds.

Canine Communication says we are Happier Dogs if we Know Our PLACE.

But I AM a Happy Dog. I'm a VERY Happy Dog - especially when I am Sleeping on Person on the Sofa. I know my PLACE is on the Sofa. Monty the Mont is a Happy Dog too (when he's not On the Defensive). Marmite is a Very Happy Dog.

I'm especially Happy when I am lying on Person on the Sofa. I'm not quite so Happy about Person UNDERSTANDING DOGS though.